Review: lubricants

Today, the market is flooded with lubricants. We were able to count the offer by hand not long ago, but today, these hands can smell like vanilla or wild cherry after masturbation. Despite their prejudices, people have found that greased engines run best. I bought a collection of lubricants a short time ago, and I reviewed a few below.

Joy Division Aquaglide Vanilla

Aquaglide is a water-based lubricant, but I was already familiar with it when I got free drops of this liquid when buying toys. I've always found it more runny than Lovehoney's, the lube lounging in my closet for half a decade. Maybe also because I got it in plastic bags that were impossible to open. I took one with aroma this time on purpose, although I'm not the biggest fan.

I bought a cherry-flavored lubricant designed to lick the lollipop a while ago. If I tried it twice, I would most certainly throw up. It was like spreading jam on chicken meat and drinking pink juice next to it. I was in the toilet for half an hour, rinsing the disgusting taste out of my mouth. Aquaglide was infused with the aroma of vanilla, which was initially undetectable. When I opened the tube, I had no idea that it was supposed to smell like vanilla.

t was dense. Although it tried to slip between my fingers, its task failed. I didn't use it with a toy this time, although I could have. The lube does not smudge, but I added a little more because I missed the coolness of the first drop. The quantity was too big, so it was oozing everywhere. It was only when I pulled my hand out from under the blanket that I smelled vanilla, and I can still smell it now. Putting the lube in my mouth did not occur to me, but it smelled nice. Like I was baking vanilla croissants instead of doing the work of a mischievous leprechaun.

I also liked Aquaglide because my sensitive skin did not respond to it with a reaction. Some lubes make me sting or itch, and instead of going straight to orgasm, I'm on my way to the shower. For my taste, it still has a slightly too fluid structure, but not so much that I would throw it in the trash. The aroma of vanilla is a pure winner.

Pjur Aqua

This is the lubricant that has been filling the advertising space of my Instagram account for the last year, but it persisted long enough to allure me in the end. It is advertised as long-lasting and extra slippery. Both are true, but slipping through fingers is also associated with a more liquid structure of the lubricant. For the first time, I thought they were selling bottled water. Also, I wouldn't say I liked the bottle, as it is pretty awkward. Imagine that you are in a rush of passion, and you need to unscrew the cap, turn the bottle around, set your fingers exactly below, and squeeze the bottle slightly. When you have dripped it on the wrong palm, try to close the cap and ensure that you do not stain the entire bed (fortunately, it is made on a water basis) and that the extra slippery lubricant remains on your palm. 

When I finally had it between my legs, it didn't resist the force of gravity at all. I caught what was left of the peach and smeared it. For a few seconds, everything was fine, but then a burning sensation overwhelmed me. Even though it only lasted a while, it was enough to scare me. Nevertheless, I continued with the toy. Insertion and play went smoothly. Rinsing the lubricant off, I noticed a pungent smell that was not there before use. Later, using another lube, I found that Pjur was the guilty party.

Loving Joy Slide Lubricant

Slide Lubricant is most similar to Lovehoney lube. It is water-based and is friendly to condoms, toys, and animals. It is the first lubricant in a row whose packaging has a lockable pump, so storage and use are much easier than with others. It is also the most dense of the tested ones regarding structure. I spent more than needed, at least that's what I thought, but soon, I had to get a new dose. The cold feeling on my peach gave me a new impetus to play with the toy. I don't know if the lube itself, or the amount of it, made the way to orgasm faster and more efficient.

Cobeco Male Butter lubricant

I first saw this type of lubricant in a homemade pornographic movie, and my wish was to try it as soon as possible. However, in the meantime, I had already forgotten about this humble desire until I saw the product on one of the websites. I couldn't care less that it was primarily aimed at men and even less that it was made for anal play. It bothered me that the packaging did not say anything other than how to apply the amount and spread it on the desired part of the body. The main ingredient, and almost the only one, is petroleum jelly, which is unfortunately unsuitable for silicone toys, but for fingers, it is perfectly fine. I took a modest amount and rubbed it between my fingers for a few seconds. When it started getting softer, it was my time. 

It did not burn, and it was not escaping. It reminded me of hardened roast grease, cooled at night on the balcony but without an unpleasant odor. I had to wipe it off after use, but my hands and peach remained soft and without a funny smell. 

I will remember this last one the most, and as soon as I get the courage, I will use it with the anal plug. I will also continue to enjoy the excellent smell of Joy Division lube on special occasions, but I will prefer Loving Joy for everyday use. Pjur does not have bad qualities either, but I give it the worst rating this time, so it will serve as a backup. Now, let it slide!