Textbooks, manuals, clitoris and sex

While reading the conversation on one of the social networks, I started to think about when I met my peach and when I began to get so excited about sex. Above all, I was interested in whether the teachers and their material also had some fault.

As a child of the 1990s, I have some memory gaps about school. I certainly remember that we never talked about sexuality in a specific subject like sex education or ethics. On the contrary, I remember crystal clear the boring lectures in the health centre. After the doctor's check-up, the girls and boys were separated, signatures were collected, and then two bored nurses came out of nowhere and took us to a separate room. Ours even had an overhead projector. Unfortunately, my elementary school period is already a little too far away to remember all the details. I know we talked about sex, contraception, and sexually transmitted diseases. I remember a bit more the last visit to the health centre at college, where we were touching breasts to see if we can recognize the cancerous lumps. 

I couldn't remember anything about masturbation, penis, or clitoris, so I set out on a journey of seeking the information as a thirty-year-old. I knew that we also got to know the sexual organs in biology class, so I borrowed textbooks for high school and the eighth and ninth grades of the elementary school in the library. Unfortunately, I no longer found the books I was supposed to learn from, so I came across a few that were close, about a year up or down. I was mainly interested in the clitoris and its function. Nevertheless, I couldn't avoid the information about sex.

In the manual Učbenik za biologijo za deveti razred devetletke(Biology for the ninth grade), published in 2005, I came across a mention of the external genitalia. Still, the author does not describe it in detail. Consequently, the clitoris is also not mentioned. However, it contains a very vivid picture of sexual intercourse. It was different in a five-year-old textbook for the seventh grade of elementary school. This time, the clitoris is mentioned and shown in the picture as part of the external genitalia, besides the large and small labia. In my cases of elementary school textbooks, therefore, the clitoris has not yet been described, nor its function. Nevertheless, it is essential to note that, on the other hand, the male orgasm is also mentioned only as a contribution to the creation of a new human being.

I thumbed through Strušek's book Biologija človeka (Human biology) in the third year of high school. Since biology was one of the subjects I graduated from, I got to know it well. The clitoris is drawn (like a bean) and marked in the picture. Few pages later, we come across a description of the female external genitalia. The author mentions the vulva, which consists of two types of labia, the clitoris and the perineum. The clitoris is described as:

"[…] An organ of two pillars of erectile tissue similar to the tissue of the penis. Because the clitoris contains many nerve endings, it is a susceptible organ and responds quickly to sexual stimulation. During sexual arousal, the erectile tissue fills with blood and swells, enlarging similarly to the male genitalia." 

The one that satisfied my elementary school curiosity was no longer found among my books waiting in the basement for me to move out of my parents' house. So this time, I borrowed existing books for girls from the library. I was the first to browse Violeta Babič's book, Knjiga za punce in njihove fante(A Book for Girls and Their Boyfriends). Sexually transmitted diseases, a visit to the gynecologist, contraception, and what I remember most - putting on a condom are described in detail. There is nothing about the anatomy of the female body and orgasm, but it is worth mentioning that the book is a guide to safe sex. 

f not sooner, in our third year of high school, it got more evident to us what a clitoris is and what its role is. It is still not clear to me how I came to the desired information on my own. I likely came across it in manuals for girls that I was reading in my spare time.

Also, the next book, Knjiga za Girls(The Book for Girls), wasn't right unless you might want to learn how to win the balsam, make a time capsule, or become the best witch in the world. 

A more significant treasure was Uta Weber's book, Vse o spolnosti za punce(All About Sex for Girls). I was convinced after reviewing the index - the book talks about physical changes in puberty, quarrels with parents, flirting, contraception, gynecology, sexual abuse, and lesbian love. At the very beginning, the author also describes the clitoris:

"But let's get back to the outside of your vagina. Here you will first see the labia. These protect the sensitive clitoris (more on this later), the entrance to the vagina, and the urethra." 

After browsing some more, I discovered the part talking about the first sex. Of course, I would have lied if I hadn't expected the mention of the clitoris. But there was nothing:

"When you are completely undressed, a big moment can happen. But how? First, the boy will insert his penis into your vagina. This is sometimes difficult as your partner may still be inexperienced and will not hit the hole right away. […] Take the boy's penis and take him to the right place."

After a slight disappointment, I discovered a real treasure on the next page entitled 'Not without foreplay':

"When caressing, pay particular attention to his erogenous zones, such as his nipples, the inside of thighs, buttocks, and of course, penis."

She also mentions a moistened vagina for easier insertion of the penis but does not explicitly talk about playing with female erogenous zones. In a later chapter on orgasm and what happens when your sweetheart lies tired on his back from sheer pleasure, she finally gets to a clitoris:

"He can caress your clitoris with his tongue - in women, it is a very erogenous zone - or irritate it with his fingers or both, fingers and tongue. It has been proven that some women cannot reach orgasm just by having sex. […]. So, as a last resort, you can lovingly remind him that he has ten healthy fingers that he can use to bring you to orgasm."

She later mentions the preparation or exercise for experiencing an orgasm. And there is no better way than masturbation. The author advocates getting to know yourself and your body with your fingers. She also points out that a woman's arousal and orgasm during sex depend on the position. As the most effective for female orgasm, in her opinion, is a cowgirl position. In the chapter on masturbation, I found some valuable advice for the teenage self:

"If you want to pamper yourself with erotic toys, you have to pay attention to the fact that they are real sex toys, such as vibrators. Vegetables and fruits go in the fridge or a salad - not in your bed!"

I still don't know if reading biology textbooks and flipping through girls' manuals has helped me find an answer to my question. Although there was undoubtedly no sex education in my time, classes after visiting the doctor were enough to awaken my desire for more. I got the answers to many questions through books for girls and later verification in practice. 

Sources:

• Lunder, U. (2005): Biologija 9. Učbenik za 9. razred devetletke. Ljubljana, Rokus.
• Kordiš T. (2000): Biologija 7. Naše telo. Ljubljana, DZS.
• Strušek P. (2002): Biologija človeka. Ljubljana, DZS. 
• Babić V. (2013): Knjiga za punce in njihove fante. Ljubljana, Tehniška založba Slovenije.
• Foster J. (2009): Knjiga za punce: Kako boš v vsem najboljša. Ljubljana, Mladinska knjiga.
• Weber U. (2008): Vse o spolnosti za punce. Tržič, Učila.