Bring me flowers

At the end of the rough day, I made myself dinner, covered myself with a blanket, settled comfortably on the couch, and stared at the TV screen in anticipation. The show featured one of many reality shows in which a horde of women compete for a man. I have never seen anything more stupid, but the show attracted me and made me watch it every time. Seeing one of their barren, dry dates, I tried to remember my own. 

I know there were few of them, and they weren't nearly as luxurious as they were shown on television. I've never gone on speed dating like American movies show or blind dates like it's popular today. I'm bad at dating. In fact, the very thought of it makes me nervous. But that doesn't mean I didn't quietly look forward to having them as a teenager. 

I don't count holding hands in kindergarten and playing with a boy from the Bear group as dating. According to my mother, this gathering ended badly - because he didn't give me his plastic bucket, I hit his head with a spade. Purely the first date I remember happened in my first year of high school. I had been hanging out with a guy I was madly in love with for quite some time, but we were always surrounded by friends. He never wanted to walk me home; he never wanted to be alone with me, so I started to despair. Should I invite him on a date? Oh, no, no way! Not in a million years. 

A few days later, the phone rang. I was surprised and excited to see his name on the screen. Yeah, he invited me on an actual date, Friday night at seven. At that time, I didn't put much on my appearance; I always wore jeans, T-shirts, and All-Stars (today I would be considered a hipster), so even then, I was not standing in front of the mirror, looking if I am pretty enough to go on a date. Still, I had a stomach ache all Friday. When we met in the hallway, I stammered in greeting and hurried in the opposite direction. I was a real pain in the ass at home, walking from room to room, looking in my closet. I haven't recognized myself. Fifteen to seven, I headed towards the bar where we had a date - in the already familiar sneakers, jeans, and T-shirt. 

When we met on the entrance, I noticed that he was even more nervous than I was. We smoked in silence and then searched for a free table. After the second tea, the atmosphere became more relaxed. Without much effort, we spent three hours on a date and decided to meet again. I think we were already holding hands after the next one when we took the dog for a walk. 

Two years later, It was time for my second date (a different guy), which I find hard to compare to the first. We were supposed to learn the ropes by now, so this date was more 'grown-up'. We also had mutual friends with this guy, and we were all in love with him, even men. He was educated and a bit whimsical, which made him even more attractive. I don't remember how our first date happened. All I know is that I didn't call him. But I remember the date pretty well. I was more relaxed; I didn't care how I looked. I took a shower, put on some fresh clothes, washed my hair, put some mascara and lipstick on, and that was it. We met under the bridge, in the canyon of the river Kokra. He was waiting for me with a bottle of wine and a book. We were playing 'sophisticated intellectual bums' who warmed themselves with the cheapest wine. 

The date didn't start badly, we talked a lot and drank even more. Then he opened the book. It was a collection of poems. How did I earn this? I really don't like poetry; I don't even understand half of it. This was followed by a conversation about metaphors, rhymes, and other things related to poetry (I remembered this later when I was already sitting in the Faculty of Arts lecture room and listening to our poet and professor Boris A. Novak). I almost fell asleep, but I felt sorry for him. I didn't want to spoil his first date scenario, and I was also expecting that kiss that it will seal our couple's fate. And it really did. At that moment, I forgot about poetry, about the cold, about the whole world. 

These are the only two dates I remembered while watching the show. I was wakened up by female voices. The two argued over who had a better date with McDreamy. I rolled my eyes, told myself I didn't need that, drank the rest of the tea, got up, and went to bed.