Prepared for the end of the world

Do you remember the preparations for your first sex? I can still see mine clearly today. They haven't changed a bit over the years and usually start a day or so earlier. At that time, the bathroom must be free for at least a few hours.

We've all heard the story that we women are demanding too much from ourselves; it is just one of the things that aren't worth that much effort. I have heard this accusation many times. From men, of course. 

"What are you doing in the bathroom for so long? Why are you shaving, I've seen you naked for a hundred times?"

Why? I used to do this because I wanted to be "perfect". My teenage years were full of movies and pictures of completely shaved porn stars, with a hairstyle that stays intact during sex and with already somewhat scary make-up. Today, I do it mostly for myself, to feel good, to be able to relax. 

Maybe if I lived with someone for a longer time, this preparation would become less important, but deep down, I doubt it would really stop doing it. I have a lot of respect for women who proudly show their unshaved legs, peach, and armpits in movie sex scenes like those created by Erika Lust. I would never be able to do that.

I prefer to stick to my routine, which due to obligations, as said, usually starts the day before, after work. Then I lock myself in the bathroom, turn on the shower, and turn on the epilator — my best friend since high school. At that moment, I feel like a man looking at an unmown lawn and a mower. He sets himself to do the job and, at the end, proudly glances at the beautifully landscaped yard. I feel the same after waxing, only I observe the smooth and bare slopes of my body. I finish it off with a razor, and my pre-preparation is over for that day. 

If I manage to find more attractive underwear in those days, my happiness is complete. Nevertheless, I discovered that the obsession with laundry is stupid, as it always flies off of me too quickly. Only I observe it in the mirror of my bathroom with respect.

On the D-day, I just brush my teeth, take a shower, check the results of the preparations, dress my new, perfect lingerie, and I'm ready! 

Of course, as it befits a woman, I am overly offended if a date is canceled at the last minute. Ugh, but I went through so much preparation! For nothing! Even though I know I'm unfair and I calm down later, the feeling is still wrong. But I still wouldn't change my preparations, not for a bit, or get rid of them. They have become a ritual and, at the same time, an essential part of my sexuality. 

I know it sounds a bit obsessive; I tried everything, but it didn't, and it didn't work. I couldn't relax and let go of the thought of my unshaved peach. With each touch, I thought of my pubic hair. Of course, today, I already allow the possibility for my bush to grow a little. Sometimes even a little longer hair catapulted me out of bed and straight into the bathroom or home. 

Surprisingly, I'm not the only weirdo around here. Many women have their pre-sexual routines. They empty their bladder a few minutes before sex, brush their teeth, get covered in perfume. It is even recommended to go to pee before sex. By doing so, you can avoid interrupting the action so that you can go to the toilet. Men are also preparing in their own way. They cut pubic hair, wash the penis and comb their hair. 

My prep is only slightly longer, and I believe I am not the only woman who prefers to be prepared than not. Sometimes even more than necessary.